How much?

[Phantom]

Thanks Stogie and JaiDee,they are the replies i was hoping to get,the reason i asked the question in the first place was because,i simply did not know how much money people give girls,i assumed the figure given by my gf friend was lies as everyone i know gives as i stated between 5,000 and 15,000.
It simply made me curious to find out if there was any truth in it,especially as most people i know who work bars,and get 2000 bht for long time will tell all their friends they got 5,000,so bearing all this in mind i thought a girl probably gets between 15,000 and 20,000.
I am sure i am not the only one who has found this an eye opener,which is why i wanted to discuss it.
Thanks again Stogie,i realy enjoyed your last post,this is such a good forum,unlike many others,no one flames,and everyone tries to help each other,hope to meet up with you guys some time.

[Guest]

If I could stay in the city more often I would find a girlfriend who I really liked; If she stayed with me exclusively I would be happy to give her 15000 baht per month to cover her bills and family needs and of course she wouldn't need cash while with me, food and other expenses would be paid.  Compared to the west that would be a bargain; how many hot girls in the west would spend less than 400 bucks a month?  If she wanted more than that I would just say "bye bye" and find another girl, there are thousands out there.

  Another bar conversation which REALLY pissed me off; this was our model Kwan from 2002, the hawaiian-looking one in KC3

  me......  hey, how are you, you have a boyfriend now?

  her..... yes, from the states

  me..... cool, does he send you money?

  her.....yes, 20,000 per month

 me.....nice, that is pretty good money

 her ..... {waves her hand sideways, as if to indicate "so-so"}

 me..... really, you don't think  that's good?

 her...... it's OK

  and with that bee-atch demeanor got up to dance and hopefully get fucked in the ass for another 1500 baht while some poor clown from the USA [do all the idiots live here?] is sending $500 of his hard-earned cash every month to some girl he loves, thinking she is home watching the tube. We had a scheduled photo shoot planned; I cancelled after hearing that nonsense.

  Ziggy is correct; enough is never really enough.  whatever you are giving her or expect to give her, expect to be hit up for more some day and for sure be prepared to hear about some family calamity which will befall on her soon in which you will be expected to help out.

[stogie bear]

If I could stay in the city more often I would find a girlfriend who I really liked; If she stayed with me exclusively I would be happy to give her 15000 baht per month to cover her bills and family needs...

Not enough for a bar girl and totally unneeded for a nice girl!

When Kui and I met I found it was cheaper to give her 1,000 Baht pocket money each week (on a Sunday) while she was at college. We lived together in a pretty squalid one-room apartment for a while and I had a shite job teaching English for 250 Baht an hour.

So long as she had enough for the bus and her phone cards she was set. Of course there were things like school books or clothes that I would pay for, but the every day stuff she paid for, herself.

As you alluded to though, you have to live here to be in a relationship. And this goes with the nice girls too. It's simply too unrealistic and impractical to expect girls to live on love, as how Thais define love isn't what you might think or approve of.

[Guest]

This thread may appear to be unhelpful to the ladyboys but in reality only about 100 different people will see this thread and we would hope that the people who subscribe and read here would have enough common sense to keep their cash where it belongs anyway. The other thousands upon thousands who don't read here and descend on BKK every year and throw their cash around like drunken sailors can be the ones to become "sponsors".

and ya' know what? I say good for the girls if they can get it, all the power to them.

[Guest]

[QUOTE= (stogie bear @ Sep. 07 2005,22:30)]

how Thais define love isn't what you might think or approve of.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on that Stogie..

[stogie bear]

[QUOTE= (electricladyland @ Sep. 11 2005,13:07)]

how Thais define love isn't what you might think or approve of.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on that Stogie..

OK, well... here goes...

In the West the romantic idea of love seems to be based on an exchange of purely emotional commodities. Or at least that's what we would like to happen. We would prefer our gals to like us and fall for us because of who we really are inside regardless of our status in the real world of cars, jobs, condos and real silverware.

Some of us go as far as hiding our wealth or even lying about our earnings to prove this point. It seems that we think that for love to happen - WE should be the primary consideration.

That is why our feelings are hurt when our loves find someone richer, bigger, cooler or just different!

This attitude of ours is shared by the white women of the West also. It seems that they demand to be loved "for who we are" rather than the firm tits and chirpy attitude of someone 20 years younger!

(I'm generalising here, so be patient!)

In general our love is given as an investment in our future. It's given to provide us with mental stability and to provide us with comfort when things in our lives change. It's also a bond we share when things go right too. We celebrate our achievements in life with those we love or are in love with.

This emotion is an important and delicate one and it seems to be an act of treason if the love dwindles and fades away because of something as cold and as tangible as cash, big cars and holidays abroad.

True love (in our fairytale world) isn't about what you can offer a partner, but more about what you can freely give.

In Asia and especially in Thailand there is a different set of criteria that determines "true love!" But don't be suckered into thinking that it's not REAL love or that this love is somehow inferior to your own, because it isn't.

Thai girls feel the same depth of emotion as anyone else does. Maybe more so because they are generally starved of true love and fairytale stories for much of their lives. This shortfall of an emotional need is filled in other ways.

Thai girls can fall in love very quickly. They fall very hard and it's almost a madness to see it happen. They'll give you every ounce of love they have and prove their love by making your bed, doing your laundry and fucking you in ways that you had previously only read about on this forum!

Then, without any logic that we can put a name to, they bugger off and fall in love all over again with the same depth of emotion and the same priviledges earnt go to the next lucky fella for a while...

This eaves us feeling confused, heartbroken, and asking many questions, such as "Where did I go wrong!"

Asian girls have a love that is every bit as genuine and well intended as any of us in the west. The criteria that inspires it, however are NOT the same.

Much is made of the "Good Heart" in Thailand. Well, we all have good hearts, right? So there must be more to it than that.

It's my belief that Thai ladies (and ladyboys but NOT girls on the game) work through a ladder of emotion which involves climbing to their highest level of tangible assets (cars, house, job etc) and then aiming there emotions (love, mainly) at that one lucky guy for as long as he is not bettered by anyone else.

It has been said that Thais are money hungry materiealistic cold hearted scheming bitches. But only by those of us who have been let down. You could say the same thing about anyone who has let us down regardless where they come from. In Asia these motives are more transparent and more socially acceptable.

If I hear people say that Thais don't know the meaning of the word LOVE (and I do here this quite a lot) then I tell them that love is the same the world over. It's the closest thing to pain anyone can feel.

The rules here are different, but it's love just the same.

(I haven't read through this and it's just been bashed out quickly as I'm busy today, but I hope it makes sense to some of you!)

SB

[Guest]

Thanks for that considered piece Stogie.

I have to relate to the differeing criteria applied to this subject.

I don't know how many times I've asked the question "But, why do you like ME ?", only to be answered by something as vague as, "You're a nice guy" or "You're serious about me"..

Even better is the "Up to you", or it depends on you line..:stars:
Makes you wonder, as you noted, just what this is based on and how 'real' it is.

What do to, what to do eh ?

Just cross fingers.

[Guest]

I have zero respect for the girls that take a boyfriend's money and keep working. It's lying, taking advantage of someone and hurting them in a way they don't comprehend. I don't get angry at them, I just have no respect for their personality.

My unbelievably naive friend bought a 'lifetime bar fine' for some girl in Soi 31 (I didn't even know that existed, but apparently it does in some places). 10,000 Baht. Theoretically, she is always available for you, and drops any guy if you come to town. Wasn't it surprising that she was always 'busy' when he showed up (ie, not in the bar), or sick, or home with mama. I think he saw her ONCE after the 10K bar fine. He tried to get the money back. Sorry, no can do.

Truth is, long-distance, working girl LB girlfriends, is pretty much as stupid as it gets. Stay here, live with her, like Stogie and Kui, and it's fine (and you'll know if you're getting taken for or not).

[Guest]

Great post, Stogie!

This forum isn't really about ladyboys at all but rather the philosophy of life and love in its most distilled form. It doesn't matter your age, sex, orientation, wealth, location, or intelligence; what you can gain from these discussions will ease your journey if you can accept the kernels of truth herein.

In the West the romantic idea of love seems to be based on an exchange of purely emotional commodities. Or at least that's what we would like to happen.

This attitude of ours is shared by the white women of the West also. It seems that they demand to be loved "for who we are" rather than the firm tits and chirpy attitude of someone 20 years younger!

In general our love is given as an investment in our future. It's given to provide us with mental stability and to provide us with comfort when things in our lives change. It's also a bond we share when things go right too. We celebrate our achievements in life with those we love or are in love with.

This emotion is an important and delicate one and it seems to be an act of treason if the love dwindles and fades away because of something as cold and as tangible as cash, big cars and holidays abroad.

In the west, we are far less in touch with the economic realities of survival. At least in the early stages, we can afford to clothe our perception of love with such idealistic notions that it is based only on the individuals and their emotional relationship. We discount factors such as disparate wealth, intelligence, social status, and ambition. In fact, the popular ideal that "love conquers all" is a favorite theme in all sorts of entertainment. The Cinderella story is the classic example.

The reality underneath it all is that the woman (and somewhat the man) are still evaluating and measuring (although to a large extent unconsciously) the suitability and status of their prospective mate. The woman will be much more selective. When you get right down to the survival of the species her choice of mate will determine the quality of genetic material donated as well as availability and stability of security and food for her children and herself. In western countries it's not really a calculated choice on the surface but the mechanism is at work whether you recognize it or not.

As long as both partners contribute what the other expects and needs in the relationship, the veil remains undrawn and all is bliss. However, if one partner fails to meet the expectations of the other, reality rears its head with unpleasant and sometimes brutal results. If there is a break-up for whatever reason, the woman will respond with the usual survival tactics: take the kids, the house, the car, his future earnings.

In Asia and especially in Thailand there is a different set of criteria that determines "true love!" But don't be suckered into thinking that it's not REAL love or that this love is somehow inferior to your own, because it isn't.

Thai girls feel the same depth of emotion as anyone else does. Maybe more so because they are generally starved of true love and fairytale stories for much of their lives. This shortfall of an emotional need is filled in other ways.

Asian girls have a love that is every bit as genuine and well intended as any of us in the west. The criteria that inspires it, however are NOT the same.

It's my belief that Thai ladies (and ladyboys but NOT girls on the game) work through a ladder of emotion which involves climbing to their highest level of tangible assets (cars, house, job etc) and then aiming there emotions (love, mainly) at that one lucky guy for as long as he is not bettered by anyone else.

It has been said that Thais are money hungry materiealistic cold hearted scheming bitches. But only by those of us who have been let down. You could say the same thing about anyone who has let us down regardless where they come from. In Asia these motives are more transparent and more socially acceptable.

The rules here are different, but it's love just the same.

In third world countries the process is simply more upfront. Because real survival is so much more tricky, the rules are just more easily discerned. Much less smoke and mirrors to obscure what's really happening.

I totally agree that the depth of love experienced is the same for women everywhere. But I would suggest that the rules are also really the same everywhere, just not so obvious in the context of some societies.

Kudos to Stogie for so eloquently demonstrating the nuances between the cultures. We really are all the same in spite of what appears to be different. If you understand why things happen the way they do, you may not be able to escape the heartache and financial pain but you will heal quicker and be able to move on. Or maybe you can make choices that will ultimately allow you to avoid the pain altogether.

Stogie, if you just banged that out off the top of your head you are one intelligent dude. Kui is some lucky girl to have you.

[Guest]

I doubt if a farang will ever find "true" love in Thailand. We are first and foremost "farang" ! White, different and sometimes feared - especially by little children the first time you walk through there villages !!!! I'm sure I've heard mothers, cousins, sisters telling there little siblings to be good otherwise the "farang" will come and sort them out !!!

In a third world country were poverty is endemic Love has little real meaning. Existence and preventing yourself from starving and ensuring your safety and that of your families existence is paramount ! Love is a luxurious "commodity" almost for those who are rich and don't have to worry about the basics of living day to day ! Yes when you are rich and comfortable you can play the games of romantic love etc... Trust me I'd love anybody who gave me Baht 35,000/month and saved me and my family from the gutter !!

My gut feeling has ALWAYS been if a ladyboy could find a thai man who could be faithful, keep a job down and earn good money and not look to her for an income while he drank all day with his buddies then I am almost a 100% sure we would not even get the steam off there piss fellas !!!!

It's about being thai. There is something very special they share - the love of there King, the love of there country and the love of being thai ! We can never feature highly in this hierachy ever !!!

We love them at our peril always ! But I'm the first to admit that there charms can and are overwhelming and can and do melt the most ardent of hearts - The people are the country and love 'em or not that's why we keep going back for more punishment and I suspect the hope of meeting the "right" dream ladyboy.

[Guest]

good post Indef and I tend to agree with a lot of your points here

Thai's want to be with other Thai's for the most part; ladyboys will deny this but deep down in their hearts and for some of the reasons that Indef mentioned they really would prefer to be with one of their own kind. There is safety in staying within your own sub-group.

How many Thai's do you see in the west living with Falangs? Not too many......... you will see Philippina's and Viet's and Japanese but very rarely do you see Thai's with western guys for life.