Meet the parents

[Guest]

I've read about 20 books now on LBs and about 100 academic articles. They are a studied bunch!

But, you know what? I don't think I've seen more than one sentence about parents and the family structure.

I was to go this week but missed the flight due to heavy rain, so am now going next week to Meet the Parents of May of Cascades; I would say, the nicest girl I know at the moment. She lives in Sakar Nakhorn, North East Thailand.

Hopefully her dad doesn't talk to me about Puff the Magic Dragon, and I hope they have no cats! Even more so, I hope he doesn't own a shotgun!

[Guest]

I am not sure why you have this desire to meet the elder family members of these ladyboys, Zig; I did it one time in Chiang Rai  and felt very uncomfortable.  What do you say to people your own age who know you are having anal sex with their son on a regular basis?

  I prefer NOT to meet the parents, but that's just me

[PigDogg]

Back home, I've always hating meeting families of my girfriends. Too much work to be on good behaviour.

However, I'd find it fascinating to visit an Issan village. I told a ladyboy sweetie I'd like to work in the rice fields for a day and she thought I was nuts but said she could arrange it. But I guess if I really wanted to do it, I would have done it.

If the village or a nearby village had a hotel, I'd rather stay there and have my privacy, especially if the stay is for more than one night.

Think it's probably be better to visit a ladyboy's family than a gg. They may or may not be thrilled that you're boning their son's bum, but at least they won't expect you to marry him.

[Guest]

I'm intestested intellectually. Also, aside from intellectually, for someone I like a lot, sure, I like to meet the family, and see how they live. Why not? May (and the blond twin) are 2 people in that category.

I've asked May 20 times about how comfortable this would be, for the reasons you mention, and she says, "Sure, no problem, you friend. You cannot stay in my home though." I have to trust her instinct on that. She's not the type to bring every Tom, Dick, and Harry home. The parents are over 60.

[Guest]

The time I went to the small village of Chun with Aon was a little odd; we had a room in the city of Phayao about 10 miles away and just went to her village in the day time and hung out with family and friends.  they were amazed at her transformation; she left that Chiang Rai area 3 years before looking like a boy and came back looking like a lady.  The Grandmother couldn't believe her eyes and kept touching her to make sure she was not fake; it was surreal to say the least.  Her parents were long-since dead but it still felt strange meeting her childhood friends and aunts and uncles, etc..... not one person there spoke english and I felt like I was being sized-up half the time.

 I wouldn't do that again unless it was someone I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

[Guest]

Any of the academics out there, like Tomcat, ever read anything on LB families or parents? It seems totally bizarre to me that all these transgender studies don't investigate the family circle; the whole crux of why LBs exist in Thailand more than elsewhere (in my view).

[Tomcat]

Hi Ziggy

Most of my reading in Science is in Space not Sociology but im interested and spent some perusing Sam Winters published papers and other related topics. This guy is serious and i think Stogie met him. As i said , im glad to help ......most his papers are available to read.


This is a snippet from one of Sam Winters research papers.
"""
Within the family, acceptance of the kathoey can be even higher. Forty per cent of our sample said their fathers were either encouraging or accepting when they first made it known that they were kathoey, while 66% said their mothers were. I cannot imagine any Western research that would generate findings of this sort. Indeed, around 30% of our sample believed that they were kathoey at least partly because of their parents€™ influence. Another 30% said the same thing about sibling influence.""


anyway Zig

Ive compiled quite a log of links to interesting research papers on Thai Ladyboys which should be of help with the book. Im not sure about the copyright conventions on research materiel but i think you probably are

Ill PM you the link later as my Taxi is outside and the guys is hammering the door....


TC

[jellybean]

Zig, two words of advice - "Mosquito Repellant" get some and be sure to use, it, I left mine in the hotel and got bitten 45 times in 3 days when we visited Kai's family. Word spreads fast amongst the mosi community that there is non-spicy farang meat in town    

I as made to feel very welcome by all of Kai's family and friends, with regard to the sex question, Kai just told them she was cut, and nobody persued the matter any further.

[Guest]

Ah...excellent advice. I need the anti-cannibal spray too?

[post-op lover]

What do you say to people your own age who know you are having anal sex with their son on a regular basis?

Ask how their water buffalo is doing!

[post-op lover]

Any of the academics out there, like Tomcat, ever read anything on LB families or parents? It seems totally bizarre to me that all these transgender studies don't investigate the family circle; the whole crux of why LBs exist in Thailand more than elsewhere (in my view).

Ah, they're actually very common. I think Benjamin or Green had a book in the 70s or 80s on TSes, and there were some discussion of parental involvement and relationships. I think there's some journal with a name like "Journal of Sexual Behavior" or something like that, and it had (when I last checked, circa 1993) an average of 3-8 papers a year on TS issues, and I'm sure that some of them discussed parental relations.

[post-op lover]

Forty per cent of our sample said their fathers were either encouraging or accepting when they first made it known that they were kathoey, while 66% said their mothers were.

Hey, that's about what I found in brief and informal, ahem, fieldwork.

[post-op lover]

I as made to feel very welcome by all of Kai's family and friends, with regard to the sex question, Kai just told them she was cut, and nobody persued the matter any further.

Cut? Yummy!

Actually, I've had two Thai posties each tell me that I could stay with their family if I visit Thailand. Alas, the problem is that if I visited Thailand, it would be very weird to bring other posties to the home for a romp in the hay... I'm sure my hosts would feel very slighted by this.

On the other hand, I would love to visit a Thai home. Too bad I don't know any Thai. (Ignoring for the moment the lack of time or funds to visit Thailand )

One TS escort I met in the US was interesting - she hosts at her place, but she lives with her mother. I personally thought it would be very interesting to meet her mother (who also knows her daughter is a working girl...).