Why so jaded?

[Guest]

OK, here is the deal

 i KNOW that i will not get any  sympathy  from anyone that reads  up here  when i bitch  about hanging around with ladyboys too much;  many of the letters   i recieve  tell me that I am the luckiest man in the world and many people have told me that to my face, and  i have no doubts that  what i do for a living is a pretty good  gig.  BUT.....like any other job, and this is a job, it has  its drawbacks.

      see,  in this  job i meet all types, and   i meet many farang men who like  ladyboys and  of course I meet a  lot of the ladyboys  as well.  i would guess that over the last  3  years i have met and chatted with at least 400 ladyboys,  and have heard stories and life  experiences  from most of them. when we  do pics,  there is also an interview process;  I am not a  robot and neither are the   girls, and i want to know what makes them tick so i ask a LOT of questions to every girl i meet.  sometimes,  the answers i get and the things i discover are  not so pleasant, you know?  it's  bound to happen; if you interviewed  400 construction workers you would probably come away  shaking  your head at the  diversity and lifestyles of all the different people, and it's the same for me.

  when i  came here for the winter in november of 2002,  i made a post similar to this on the old yellow forum and blue ballz and a few other guys gave me shit, basically saying  'shaddup; you have a great job and just  enjoy bangkok'.   i really wish it were just that easy.

    when you meet as many ladyboys as  i do it becomes a big blur and  you start to realize very quickly what the whole thing is all about;  money.   not one of these  girls over here  gives a good shit about you or I;  they care about advancing their lot in life and that of their families, and if they can do it on our backs for a while, so be it. then as soon as the  cash runs out or you say  'no'  one time,  they just find another chump.  this is not  something i am imagining; i have seen it and lived it and it's just the way it is.  myself, i have come to accept it and just don't bother  anymore,  but there are  hundreds [thousands?] of other guys out there that think they can find  true love and live happily  ever after with a ladyboy.  you can't, and you won't, take my word for it.

 Thailand is a land of fantasy. Ladyboys are here and they are beautiful and we all fall in love 100 times when we walk into Obsessions and the other bars, and that's natural.  It happens to everyone and even more so to the guys that like real ladies, just  due to sheer numbers. the difference is that most guys [hopefully] can just realize that it is fun-time when you are here, leave here and go back to their normal lives, and come back a few months later and start all over again.   you guys that are sending money in the sad hope that it will keep your  girl out of the bars or  stop her from meeting customers?  you are just plain wrong, 100% wrong.  the girl does not  give a   shit about you, only your wallet.  the ONLY way to  meet and keep a girl is if you live here  12 months a year, and even then it is extremely hard.  because as I say, the girl  will never trully love you, just your bank statement, and when some other guy with more cash comes along,  you will be gone; believe it.

  Thank God I  have been smart enough all these years to never send money to a  ladyboy and I wish anyone reading this would follow suit.  it is a  bad  way to go about things, believe me, and  will not make her like you any more.  as a matter of fact,  she may like you even less and have no respect for you.  when I was leaving last spring for 5 months and  told Aon that she would  not be getting any cash from me until I returned in November,  she probably couldn't understand why; after all, all her  friends  recieve cash from morons all over the world.  I told her 'because i am not a pussy'.   i think that explanation was good enough for her, and she realized that she was  dealing with someone  with balls,  not some  clown that she could play like a fiddle and then dump  when a  better situation  presented itself. now that we are finished  don't  ya'  think it feels  better for me that i didn't send her any cash?  imagine if i sent her 50,000 baht a month over the summer[hey, don't laugh; some   idiot's actually DO this];  wouldn't i feel like a  schmuck?  don't ever be one of these guys.


  i used to hold  back up here and not really say what was on my mind in a lot of  situations because i didn't want to hurt the earning potential of  some of  the girls that i know. Now Stogie and the rest of you will be  happy to see i am not pulling any punches anymore.  these last 3  weeks since i have returned, i have seen the dark underbelly of ladyboy life in Thailand and it sickens me.  lots of what i have seen and learned and heard has made me just want to barf.

  anyone want to run a website?  i want out......maybe  the PI is the best thing for me right now, as i am sure Salma and her friends are   much better than 90% of these mercenary assholes   over here.

    can  you find true, lifelong love with a ladyboy in Thailand?  very simple  answer to that question;

  No.

So save your cash and just come here and have fun.

   Jon

[Pinga]

You're taking things too personally. You should know better than most on this board, that the Thai idea of love is much different then how we think of it in the west. Due to the lack of affection from most western women, guys go nuts in LOS...with gg or lbs. There is tons of information available to these men...if they don't want to take it, that´s their problem. If they want to live in a fantasy world...that's their problem too. The only way it affects you and me is that the girls get easy money and maybe are not as available.

This is your job. Are you maybe pissed off at the Aon situation? It seems that way. Don't screw up the best lb site for no good reason. Just my HO.

[Mai-Kee]

Sign every word you say - except:
"...think they can find true love and live happily ever after with a ladyboy. you can't, and you won't, take my word for it."
Substitute ladyboy with hooker - then you are right! It's the old bargirl problem, which you have all over the planet. Additionally in 3rd world countries you may have the problem as well with non-bargirls. But there is still another world beside NEP, Patpong, Patong and bloody Pattaya and there are a LB's coming from a well-to-do background, having a normal job and seriously just looking for love. Just try to find them (Salma seems like one of those by the way!).
That a girl is always tempted by money - well that's also a worldwide phenomenon, because the most ugliest guys in their late fifties with their 600S Benz' and diamond Rolex' always have nice chicks on their side. In N.Y, Paris, London, Moscow, Zurich and Bangkok.

MK

[Guest]

remember the pack that you run in... pros are pros worldwide
i have met some genuine non pro lbs in los that are not about money

all hope is not lost

[Guest]

pinga.....appreciate that  you said  'don't  screw up the best LB  website due to all this'......  seriously, no matter how   angry or    upset i get with this place, the site will always be basically run out of thailand, because the best and most beautiful ladyboys  live here.  that's just a  fact. so even if i am   sometimes  fed up with this place, 90%  [maybe 80% after the PI]  of the girls will always come  from here.

   Aon and I parted as  friends.....we knew after  koh samui that  it was all over; we  were just going through the motions  by then but still got our work done and  got her pics and  15 other models. if there was any animosity between us  she wouldn't  be featured on page   2  of the site right now,  in what  I believe is  one of the better  pics i have ever taken of ANY model.   I also   blew that up to an 8x10  for her and gave it to her  a few weeks ago when i got here.  she has  known for  2 years now that  I was   fooling around on her[ hell, all you have to do is look at the pics on the site or read here anytime] so why she put up with me for as long as she  did is a credit to her.

   no, it's  not just the fact that our relationshp ended; i have ended with others as well and  not felt so jaded as i do now.   read some of the other posts i made today; some of the things i have seen lately have really opened  my eyes and amaze me even more than other times;  the post-op thing is  really throwing me for a loop now and read a  post i made  about  3 weeks ago that it is now becoming an epidemic.  this  really saddens me and I hate to see my friends, including Aon and Chompoo, go through with this  difficult procedure.

        yes, i allow  these things to affect me too personally, no question.  but like anyone else i  have feelings and thoughts on what goes on around me and it  just sometimes  gets  me down;  i think that's natural and like all things these feelings will pass.

  i think the PI will be a good  experience for me

Jon

[Guest]

Jon i am one of those guys who never shows too much emotion towards hookers (as they will play on your emotion) I fuck them and i pay them i dont love them as they dont love me> they do like money and that is it. I have said in the past that thailand is a very mersonary society , especially in the world of whores and bar girl sceen. Most guys especially the wankers that send money are WANKERS, . can't blame the girls if the guys are cunt struck, thats why thais think all farangs are so dumb. because we act so dumb with whores.My recent trip to bangkok wads a dud as most of the girls and ladyboys where duds in the sack.Thats my problem no one else's, the fact is as iv'e allways said, whores are whores pay em and piss em offf. Never send money they will like you more if you don't. Those that do are concidered stupid falang . I have been shot to bits on this forum for saying these things in the past, but now am happy that the boss has seen the light in thailand, money.
Use the place as a fantasy for a few weeks then leave it behind, dont send any money as they all have a fucking story, and finally as jon said you will never have a real relationship with a thai lady boy , as they have higher priorities than loving you.(Long distance relationship)
Finally , you cannot apply weston thinking to this ,as the thais think in a completly different way to us
JOn good luck mate your a true champ for finally speaking your mind on this one

[Guest]

finding true love in a bar is an age old trap for the desperate lonley.
lb or gg all the same, budist, catholic or muslim all the same,selling ones body
is a huge step after which to justify all else is minor

[Guest]

This is reply to all the posts I have read on the subject of 'Ladyboys not being genuine, or not romantic, loving people'  What are we expecting...Philanthropists??
Hey guys.......come on! What is all this?  People make their own choices. The definition of a prostitute is: "Person who sells one's body; exchanges sex for money. Whatever they may be called..... cocotte, whore, harlot, trollop, bawd, tart, cyprian, fancy woman, working girl, sporting lady, lady of pleasure, woman of the street, escort, bargirl, barladyboy...etc.,etc.,." (and yes...I had to stretch to come up with all those names)  Ya know...if you drive down the street..pick up a prostitute working a corner...whadaya want?? whaddaya expect?  LISTEN UP!!!!....You don't take them to dinner...or shopping!  They are working!  It is their job to earn money, you are their customer, you are their paycheck.  If you want the companionship....then you have to PAY for it...it is very simple.  Nobody rides for free!

Why is it all of a sudden such a cruel world. This is the way it has been for ever.....Remember??....'the world's OLDEST profession'?  

Ok....so some whores may ACT more like friends then prostitutes....that's it...an act. They have perfected their craft.  

In my job...if another company offers me more money for the same job.....I'm probably there.....Why be upset if LB takes more money from someone else.  Tell me...if a cute LB offered a night of FREE sex....wouldn't you drop the LB you are with???   I repeat...IT'S A JOB!...Money talks.      As Van Halen said many years ago.....'AIN't talking about LOVE' !! You want love...join a dating website or ask your friend to set you up with his sister.......don't go to a bar in Thailand! Don't go to a brothel in Pahrump, Nevada...Don't pick up that scantily dressed woman on the corner!... DUUHHH!   Why would a ladyboy in thailand be any different?

Sorry...I am just surprised by the stories of people expecting love and friendship from someone who gets paid for flattery and sex.  Maybe I'm just too old?

[Guest]

the problem is, i think, that almost ALL the girls i know are prostitutes! so maybe that is why I am so jaded, and yes, you are right; just as they are willing to dump us for a guy with more cash, we would be happy to find one who would take less and probably hang with her; that was a good point.

I was just thinking about this......

in the states and in the west in general, you would NEVER pay a girl to come over to your house, watch a movie, have some snacks, and crash early without fucking, would you? of course not....but here, if you are 'dating' a bar girl or anyone who has ever been paid for sex, they would fully expect that! to me that is crazy; aren't there any girls that are willing to just be a girlfriend and hang around with us because we are, you know, nice guys? I only know literally ONE, named Kui, and she is with Stogie Bear. the rest of these girls expect cash for your time, and even if you just hang out they will want dough because if they worked and stayed in the bar that night they could have made 2000baht or more.

I think the solution, if that is a possible, one and the odd's are slim, is to find a nice college girl who is not yet hardened by the scene. MAYBE you could get lucky and keep her for your GF, before she gets into the bar scene and gets jaded herself. perhaps that's where we should be looking; we are never going to meet our future lifelong mates in Obsessions or Casa, that's for sure.

Donnnny.....i am happy that you like that i finally spoke my mind on this subject and I think Stogie Bear will be as well because he says i usually come across as too much of a wimp up here. These thoughts have been on my mind for about a year now [actually more; i made a post very similar to these on the old yellow forum in November, 2002, when I first came over for last winter] but it was the trip to Phuket for 2 weeks that finally put me over the edge. the things i heard and saw there just blew my mind.

Too bad; i love this place, and the people are nice [most are nice]. But i still really believe that finding a girl to spend your time with requires that you spend a LOT of money on her, and i am not falling into that trap; i would rather just butterfly.

Jon

[Stewart]

>>>Hey guys.......come on! What is all this?  People make their own choices. The definition of a prostitute is: "Person who sells one's body; exchanges sex for money. Whatever they may be called..... cocotte, whore, harlot, trollop, bawd, tart, cyprian, fancy woman, working girl, sporting lady, lady of pleasure, woman of the street, escort, bargirl, barladyboy...etc.,etc.,." (and yes...I had to stretch to come up with all those names)  Ya know...if you drive down the street..pick up a prostitute working a corner...whadaya want?? whaddaya expect?  LISTEN UP!!!!....You don't take them to dinner...or shopping!  They are working!  It is their job to earn money, you are their customer, you are their paycheck.  If you want the companionship....then you have to PAY for it...it is very simple.  Nobody rides for free!
Why is it all of a sudden such a cruel world. This is the way it has been for ever.....Remember??....'the world's OLDEST profession'?  
Ok....so some whores may ACT more like friends then prostitutes....that's it...an act. They have perfected their craft.  
In my job...if another company offers me more money for the same job.....I'm probably there.....Why be upset if LB takes more money from someone else.  Tell me...if a cute LB offered a night of FREE sex....wouldn't you drop the LB you are with???   I repeat...IT'S A JOB!...Money talks.      As Van Halen said many years ago.....'AIN't talking about LOVE' !! You want love...join a dating website or ask your friend to set you up with his sister.......don't go to a bar in Thailand! Don't go to a brothel in Pahrump, Nevada...Don't pick up that scantily dressed woman on the corner!... DUUHHH!   Why would a ladyboy in thailand be any different?>>

Just read this reply after I wrote my rather wimpish reply to the same subject on another thread

Much better put Doubletee.....why are we even discussing this?

[Guest]

Not to be an asshole (well not much) I have to say I agree with Stewart, doubletee and others that if you expect to find 'true love' you're looking in all the wrong places.  

You can say bar-girls are all cynical, avaricious and jaded, which is true some cases but not all ... but it is also a bit unfair. After all, we like bar-ladyboys because we can have our pleasure then move on (or stay for a while if they prove truly appealing).  How do you think the girls feel being treated like this night after night, knowing that they only have a few more years to earn money this way.  

I've had some great times with bar girls.  And I never load them or myself down with the added karma of 'true love.'  I want them to know this about me, and to know that there is not much option to manipulate me, but there is money in it for them if I like being with them.

Relationships with a bar girl should be fee for service, and i'll throw in a kicker for going that extra mile.  I'm happy to pay well if I like a girl, and complain on the Internet if I'm not happy.  But true love,... not in a bar.  And I don't really even think it is much of an Asian thing ... stay in the US if you want true love.

[stogie bear]

It is easy to find a ladyboy n Thailand. There are bars devoted for them especially...

All of the girls have different personalities: Some come across as demure and others as more agressive. Some like noodles on the street and some like KFC. Some like watching cartoons and others read the FT index! (OK, that last one was a stretch!)

...but let's face the facts: all of them (despite their different interests, backgrounds and personalities are in it for the cash. They love themselves far too much to have any left over for shmucks like us.

We all have our favourites and I'm sure they do too. They love getting ripped by that juicy Jaard from Sweden, but he only pays 1,500 and that fat smelly German guy sucks ass, but he pays 5,000! Waddya gonna do!

I would think the same way if I was a tourist: I wish I could afford the superstars more than once a month, but 2nd best is good enough on a budget!

Looking for more than that is really wishful thinking on our parts though...

[Guest]

this line is great stogie;

<<>>

ever see a ladyboy walk by a mirror and not check her hair? it's impossible.

Yes, I still like ladyboys, despite my recent attitude these last 2 or 3 days up here. i actually LOVE having sex with them; it's greater than anything I have ever tried. I guess what i want is to have my cake and eat it too, and that is just not going to happen; in other words, be able to butterfly and fuck as much as i want, and have a nice 19-year old cutie waiting for me at home to be my faithful companion. LOL....that will never happen.

all these girls are hookers; i have never lost sight of that. but with that said, it would be nice to just meet ONE who was not placed on this earth to extract as much money from us as possible. I am still looking and will let you know when [and if] i find her.

Jon

[Guest]

True story. I was with one of the "Superstars" of this site about a year and half ago. This girl spent more time in front of a mirror in the two weeks that I was with her than I do in a six months. It got to be so funny that I would have to plan on alloting an extra hour if we wanted to go out just for her to get her face on. Now comes the best part. She had the most amazing hair I have ever seen in my life. She was justifiably very proud of it. She would tell me "Cannot go out go, my hair not beautiful, have to go to salon, you give me 350 Baht please. That would be in the morning, after the a day in the sun on a beach the same thing would happen at night and she would have to go to the salon again. One day after I dropped her off and went about having some fun by myself I returned to the salon, she had the girls put some braids and little beads in her hair. Of course I was expected to pay. I did and off we went to lunch. Within an hour she decided that she did not like this new look, her words were "I not feel so beautiful now, have to fix hair." Needless to say our relationship went in the toilet from that time on.
Yes, I have become very jaded also. Live and learn by our mistakes and boy oh boy did I learn. My only consolation is that this person has fallen out of favor big time, maybe now she won't love herself so much.

[Guest]

" Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but rather accept his lot calmly, even if they roll a few more upon you "

Buddha said, " What we think we become "

Remember money to a ladyboy is like a sixth sense, without which she cannot make a complete use of the other five !!!

Tame the beast within then you will see more clearly.

Bricktop - The enlightened One