Are we a bad match for ladyboys?

[jadeite]

Reading the forum here it seems for the vast majority of ladyboy lovers, the ladyboy cock is the major fixture of the attraction. Yet this is the very part of them ladyboys wish they didn€™t have. A lot of guys who like ladyboys (myself included) are turned off by ones who have had the operation. Ladyboys want to be accepted as women, but most guys seem to only like them because of the male part of them. While they seem ideal for us, I suspect they see us as a little crazy and can tolerate us, but perhaps we are not their dream relationship. What is your take?

[Guest]

They like us because they like men.

And not every LB wants to have the chop. In fact most probably don't. They like their cocks too

[divertwo]

hmmm....truth or wishfull thinking. Maybe it's viewed as just a "tool of the trade" Does a carpenter need his hammer once he retires?

[rxpharm]

Don't overanalyze - enjoy the moment while you can. I would think many lbs want SRS, the operation - some for various reasons. Some believe they make more money appearing as a "gg" bargirl/escort (usually true for the attractive ones), some want to achieve their life long dream of becoming a woman, etc.

There is a very good reason why some Thai SRS doctors are among the best in the world - this does not happen if most lbs do not want the operation.

They see us as a means to an end, to earn enough money to achieve their goals, whether it is SRS, money to buy a business, a house, support their families, etc.

Also, there are always new lbs coming into the scene if your favorite does decide to have SRS, don't think less of her because of it.

[rob69in]

We are mobile ATM's, nothing more, nothing less, "Money number one" as always.

[stogie bear]

As usual - most of the replies refer to hookers and are off the mark completely for normal ladyboys with normal hopes and aspirations for their lives.

It is indeed a paradox that what we find most attractive about transgendered Thai 'ladies' is precisely what they hate about themselves!

Of course there are ladyboy 'tops' and femboys who can switch identities. There are also ambiguous genders which are neither completely femme or guy...

For the true transexual ladyboy she would rather NOT have her cock and this presents an unusual addition to the equation regarding serious relationships.

Don't have any amswers though and I'm not sure if there are any. Like all relationships it may come down to compromises.

[smuttleydfs]

Out of all the trannys and ladyboys I've been with a grand total of 2 have wanted to have SRS. One I know eventually did. When I talked in depth with one who I had a great relationship with and I asked what her long term intentions were she said she will likely have her breast implants removed and begin living as a gay man. She said she would probably do that when she found the guy that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Of course this is an American shemale and not a ladyboy. The only ladyboy I ever talked with about this basically just said she was going to stay this way as long as she was making money.

[post-op lover]

I can't be unbiased here. My take is that I want them to fulfill their dreams.

I know several posties who've belittled guys who prefer only pre-ops. I thought that was a tad odd, since they (the post-ops) are also among the groups that society at large still considers a bit deviant. Moreover, that they referred to pre-op lovers as gay was very strange: what's wrong with anyone being gay (among those of us who are already so open-minded)? I thought it was very strange they would use "gay" as a pejorative.

Maybe they were trying to make themselves feel better, or somehow compliment my taste in them. Who knows. I prefer posties, and don't much care for anything else except GGs.

POL

[Guest]

It is completely incorrect to say ALL transsexuals want the chop.

This simply isn't true. As with smuttley, I would say the vast majority I've talked to don't want it, money available or not.

To start off with basic principles, gender is a psychological feeling, and has nothing to do with anatomy.

I give two examples. May, my girlfriend. She says, "never, never, never", and she knows I could give her 100K baht any day she asked. Likewise, Ae, in my Khao Yai shoot, who is a closest friend of 2 other LBs who absolutely were dying for the chop, and are getting it, says the same, i.e., never (and imagine the subconcious peer pressure she has from them).

These 2 ladies whom I know very, very well, are completely feminine in all respects. There is no contradiction with their feelings of femininity and their penis.

So to answer the original question, you simply need a LB who makes a personal decision to not have the chop, or, vice versa, like POL. For many, it is a permanent and personal decision to never chop, and thus you need never be concerned about that.

[stogie bear]

(ziggystardust @ Feb. 18 2007,16:06) It is completely incorrect to say ALL transsexuals want the chop. This simply isn't true.

Quite right and no-one is suggesting that it is.

It is true that male to female transexuals would rather have been born as genetic women, rather than as 'ladyboys.'

I don't think that there's a (genuine) transsexual alive that genuinely prefers being a ladyboy rather than a man or a woman.

[stogie bear]

I know several posties who've belittled guys who prefer only pre-ops. I thought that was a tad odd, since they (the post-ops) are also among the groups that society at large still considers a bit deviant. Moreover, that they referred to pre-op lovers as gay was very strange: what's wrong with anyone being gay (among those of us who are already so open-minded)? I thought it was very strange they would use "gay" as a pejorative.

Hmmm... These must be mentally imbalanced post op nazis with a serious chip on their collective shoulders! I've never encountered this bizarre behaviour that you speak of either in real life or as case studies. I seriously doubt the conviction of these samples that you are quoting from.

[Guest]

(jadeite @ Feb. 17 2007,18:11) ... the ladyboy cock is the major fixture of the attraction. Yet this is the very part of them ladyboys wish they didn€™t have.

Quite so.

However, the OP does seem to be thinking along absolute lines

[jadeite]

My impression is every ladyboy feels they are a woman born inside a man€™s body. That€™s why they dress like women, talk like women, use the women€™s bathroom, and so on. I did not mean to insinuate all desire to get the chop. Getting the chop is a very big deal and there are good reasons they would not want it. However, I don't see this as mattering because being a ladyboy is a state of mind, not about how many alterations they have had. Even if they choose not to get the chop, one should not hastily conclude they have come to terms and are satisfied with the extra equipment because they still seem ashamed of it.

The bars are a smoke screen as they are there to please and will do whatever it takes and as long as you are happy they are happy (and pssst a little tip: there are a few gay guys working in the ladyboy bars just as there are some hetero guys working in the gay bars which further clouds it). But even in the bars it is interesting you will find ladyboys that try to keep their cock hidden, taped, and covered even if they know that you know. They believe they are girls and want only that part of them to show at all times. I recall an interview in the Bangkok Post of a professional ladyboy with an office job who said secretly the most humiliating thing was her Thai boyfriend touching her cock.

These are kind of the reasons I would think given the choice that ladyboys, regardless of wanting or having the chop, would prefer a relationship with people that have an outlook like €œpost-op lover€ though the vast majority of the guys they meet aren€™t like that which I also wonder if that part surprises them.

[stogie bear]

Even if they choose not to get the chop, one should not hastily conclude they have come to terms and are satisfied with the extra equipment because they still seem ashamed of it.

Exactly. Wise words.

[Guest]

(jadeite @ Feb. 18 2007,20:17) My impression is every ladyboy feels they are a woman born inside a man€™s body. .......

Even if they choose not to get the chop, one should not hastily conclude they have come to terms and are satisfied with the extra equipment because they still seem ashamed of it.

I recall an interview in the Bangkok Post of a professional ladyboy with an office job who said secretly the most humiliating thing was her Thai boyfriend touching her cock.


The bars....


These are kind of the reasons I would think given the choice that ladyboys, regardless of wanting or having the chop, would prefer a relationship with people that have an outlook like €œpost-op lover€ though the vast majority of the guys they meet aren€™t like that which I also wonder if that part surprises them.

There is little doubt about the first point, as far as the vast majority of them are concerned.

It seems your assumptions are partly based on anecdotal evidence and also on the views of some LBs who are probable candidates for future SRS. Further 'on the ground' contact will show you that many, yes many LBs are quite happy with their functioning equipment
    and wouldn't have it any other way. (BTW I make no reference to Top or Bottom preference).

The bars, well I think one should be careful about using that game as a universal reference point.

I too know of some LBs who eventually had the chop who did not like any 'cock' attention. But that seems self-explanatory.

In general though, I don't think it's as big an issue amongst the larger LB populace as you may think.

In short, of course the potential SRS candidates are conflicted about their appendage (whether or not they go through with the cut). However, for the rest it's Free Willy !