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E = mc² equation of relationships!

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  • E = mc² equation of relationships!

    I got this from facebook. This reminds me so much of, "See I'm not a bad guy! I'm just ahead of the curve!" Don't even think about changing the title of this thread!!!

    A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

    Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

    I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

    I wanted to ask:

    what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York CityGarden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

    I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

      1. Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
      2. Which age group should I target?
      3. Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls  who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry  rich guys.
      4. How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? My target now is to get married)

    Ms. Pretty

    And the answer to her question:

    Dear Ms. Pretty,

    I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.

    Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

    From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

    However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

    Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

    Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...


    signed,

    J.P. Morgan


    Maybe I sound insensitive but its not the case at all. I do care!  But if I had to live my whole life based on how everyone might be sensitive to me.. I would not be living my life as I want it. So you can accept me and my flaws as I am or you can't.

  • #2
    Good stuff Jake,

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    • #3
      in short: if it flies, floats or fucks, it is better to rent than to buy!

      Comment


      • #4
        hahaha it made my day.
        You Can Take Taneisha Out Of The Party, But You Can't Take The Party Out Of Taneisha  

        http://imlive.com/_/0493/386493/SluttyTaneisha53628.htm

        Comment


        • #5
          Hah!  Here is the version I got of this about a year or so ago..... it's a little more "literary"....



          THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST

          What am I doing wrong?

          Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
          (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
          I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
          least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
          that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
          I'm overreaching at all.

          Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
          you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
          200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
          me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
          to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
          I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
          get to her level?

          Here are my questions specifically:

          - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
          restaurants, gyms

          -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
          feelings

          -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

          - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
          side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
          nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
          gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
          there?

          - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
          banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
          hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

          - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
          MARRIAGE ONLY

          Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
          way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
          about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
          able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
          nice home and hearth.

          it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
          interests  
          Craig's List PostingID:



          THE ANSWER
          Dear Pers-:

          I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
          about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
          Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
          bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
          see it.

          Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
          crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
          suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
          my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
          money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
          that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
          be getting any more beautiful!

          So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
          asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
          accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
          hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
          earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

          So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
          and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
          to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
          you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
          to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
          as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

          Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
          I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
          as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
          believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
          hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

          By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
          we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

          With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
          Classic "pump and dump."
          I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
          lease, let me know.

          __
          XXXX XXXXX
          J.P.Morgan
          Diversified Industrials Investment Banking
          277 Park Avenue, 16/F, New York, NY 10172







          Please do not transmit orders or instructions regarding a UBS account by e-mail. The information provided in this e-mail or any attachments is not an official transaction confirmation or account statement. For your protection, do not include account numbers, Social Security numbers, credit card numbers, passwords or other non-public information in your e-mail. Because the information contained in this message may be privileged, confidential, proprietary or otherwise protected from disclosure, please notify us immediately by replying to this message and deleting it from your computer if you have received this communication in error. Thank you.


          UBS Financial Services Inc.
          UBS International Inc.
          UBS Financial Services Incorporated of Puerto Rico

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