The jokes thread...

[PigDogg]

Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy
Mick comes over to see him.
Mick says, "How you doin?"
"Paddy says, "Okay, but do me a favour mate,
run upstairs and get me slippers,
me feet are freezing."
Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's
gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters
lying on the bed.

[PigDogg]

He says,
"Your dad's sent me up here
to have sex with both of you."
They say,
"Get away with ya.... prove it."

Mick shouts downstairs,
"Paddy, both of em?"
Paddy shouts back,
"Of course both of em,
what's the point of fuckin one?"

[azza33]

like it

[El_hefe]

2 Irishmen walked out of a bar.........










.........Hey, it could happen!

[whore]

Getting a salad in McDonalds is like going to a whore house for a hug.

[spare wheel]

AS blind little Tim gets tucked up in bed his mum tells him,
If you pray really hard tonight, tomorrow you will be able to see !!!!

So little Tim prays like never before.

Morning comes and Tim is still blind.
"Mommy, mommy" he cried, "I prayed so hard last night but im still blind."

His mum gently pats his head and says " i know son." "April Fool"


sw

[fleeing]

[spare wheel]

And Jesus said unto his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross..........


Dont touch my fuckin easter eggs........ i"ll be back on Monday !!!!!

SW

[Naang Faa]

(spare wheel @ Apr. 04 2010,00:19) AS blind little Tim gets tucked up in bed his mum tells him,
If you pray really hard tonight, tomorrow you will be able to see !!!!

So little Tim prays like never before.

Morning comes and Tim is still blind.
"Mommy, mommy"  he cried,  "I prayed so hard last night but im still blind."

His mum gently pats his head and says " i know son."  "April Fool"


sw  

Thats so mean,you've ruined my sunday..
x

[deepthroat]

(PigDogg @ Nov. 04 2005,09:45)

(--allstar88 @ Oct. 29 2005,02:43) wipe your dick on the curtains          

First you fuck her up the ass and then you wipe your dick off on her curtains is  punchline to "How do you make Martha Stewart scream twice"?      

I remember telling that joke to two girls I had just met in a bar.  Rather suave of me.    

That's nothing.

I went to school with a guy who said his line was to approach a girl in the bar and ask if he could smell her feet. If she said "NO!" he'd reply "Oh, sorry... it must be your pussy then."

*rimshot*!

I assume he's living in a monastery somewhere today.

[Rocket J. Squirrel]

We had a guy like that.  He used to swing cats around by their tails and catch frogs and put firecrackers in their mouths.  I think he was the son of the local coroner.

[spare wheel]

I'm voting for the Icelandic Volcano Party.
Its done more to stop immigration in the last 5 days than labour has done in the last 10yrs


SW „¢

[mirimark]

A priest, a faggot and a pedophila walks into a bar, And thats just the first guy.


wana hear about the other two guys who walk in ?

[Steff]

Cardiologist's Funeral:

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket was rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist.'

The proctologist fainted.

[Grinder]

Priest checks into a hotel.

"Is the porn channel in my room disabled?" he asks.

"No it isn't, it's the same porn as every one else, you pervert."